literature

Threw My Eyes

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Literature Text

I watch the new day peek into the sky,
The night giving me no rest, no sleep,
Every part of my heart aches,
And I do not feel like getting out of bed.
How bad I want this to all be a dream,
Just like the nightmares I had so many times before.
But I know this one is real this time,
And I drag myself out of bed…
I have too.
My little one needs me to start the day,
to act like nothing happened the night before.
I find myself sitting down,
My eyes so full of tears as I look at the tree in my living room.
It's the Holidays, and I need to be happy.
But I can't bring myself to do so,
All I have are thoughts,
That this will be our last Holidays together.
I watch my little one run around,
She has no idea what has be decided,
And my heart brakes.
I know it was my mistakes that brought this upon us,
If only I had been braver, stronger.
We would be happy now…
If I could only had trusted him with all my heart,
Not just loved him with all of it.
He would be happy,
And are family would still be together.
But now instead of a bright new year,
I know the start of it will only bring an end to my family.
I'm in so much pain I cannot bear,
It feels like no one understands,
And still I am scared to tell him the truth once more,
Only agreeing to make him happy,
I want to make him happy at less one more time.
He deserves to be happy…
But
I don't want this,
I want to get help,
I need help I know this now,
I want to make this work.
I want to be able to trust like everyone else,
I may have been unhappy,
But I wanted to fight threw it,
I don't want to give up.
I don't want to let them go.
But it's too late…and I know it's my doing.
Some thoughts from my Divorce
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